Gays & God - In 5 Minutes...

Hey everyone,

I thought I would write a little bit about gays and god ...or homosexuality and religion...however you want to put it! Gays and god makes a better title though right? Yeh knew you'd agree!

What do the monotheisms think of Gays?

Now I'm not anti-religion, and in fact I think there may be a God out there of some kind, but I prescribe more to the deist idea of God (ie that there was a prime mover who perhaps started everything but who doesn't intervene in the world) rather than the theist notion of God (who apparently intervenes in human affairs and cares about what we do and who we do it with).


Traditionally, the world's 3 major religions have always disliked gays. Orthodox Judaism still clings to the notion that it is wrong although Reformist Jews have come around a little, Christinaity seems to be a bit of a mixed bag these days with more denominations accepting it (although the biggest - Catholics - still aren't fans) and Islamic cultures, for the most part, unfortunately remain as contemptful as ever.





Any Chance?

  

I'm aware of metropolitan churches that pop up in urban cities across the West which cater for and accept the gay community - I'm not quite sure how they square this with those famous lines in Leviticus or the Sodon & Gomorrah story from the Old Testament or the Romans passage in the New Testament but if they are accepting and give people community and spirituality which they are after, then thats an improvement!

I still don't get how the bible/old testament tells you how to keep slaves when EVERYONE knows slavery is wrong, or how God can be described as a "jealous" God in the Old testament - what a petty human emotion for him - or how if almost everyone now accepts we evolved, then why is the dcotrine of original sin still relevant? adam never bit an apple so now what? Anyone?  

Are Gays less religious than straighties?

I done a quick Google search asking this and didn't find too much, but I think it could be true if you are talking about being religious in the traditional sense. In my experiences I have found more talk of 'spirituality' than of 'religion' in gay culture - which shouldn't really come as a big surprise owing to the hostility the religious among our society has directed towards gays.

I think everyone has a yearning, or a desire, that there be something beyond this world. If we really cease to exist what is the point of life? Are we owed an explanation? It feels like we are because we have cognition and love explanations - we even make bad ones up when we don't know the facts. We don't like knowing that one day we will die. I thought about this the other week but realised what is the alternative? To live forever? Not sure I would want that either...think about it...what would be the point of doing ANYTHING? We would be forever trapped and there would be no ultimate anything...not even death! And no mystery!



God (disclaimer - probably not God)

 

 

Aren't there bigger things to worry about than the gays?

If a God does exist, and lets just say for arguments sake that he doesn't like the gays, wouldn't there be other things on his mind? Like the rich ripping off the poor? Like global warming? Like serious criminals? Why is gay stuff so important in light of all of this - its really very trivial in my opinion and in past cultures it wasn't even a big deal (see ancient greece/romans). I just can't see how two adult men or women who like each other and want to enjoy each other's company socially and romantically is anything that bad - in the abstract its really not - hence why most opponents to gay things have a "moral" thing against it based on some weird superstition or cult (I used the word cult there in stead of religion - lol - much difference though???)



Greed - Gordon Gecko much? 



Contributions from Intellectuals

Gore Vidal:

"The great unmentionable evil at the center of our culture is monotheism. From a barbaric Bronze Age text known as the Old Testament, three anti-human religions have evolved — Judaism, Christianity, Islam. These are sky-god religions. They are, literally, patriarchal — God is the Omnipotent Father — hence the loathing of women for 2,000 years in those countries afflicted by the sky-god and his earthly male delegates. The sky-god is a jealous god, of course. He requires total obedience from everyone on earth, as he is in place not for just one tribe but for all creation. Those who would reject him must be converted or killed for their own good. Ultimately, totalitarianism is the only sort of politics that can truly serve the sky-god's purpose."

Now I don't know much about Gore, but I thought it was an interesting quote. The language is quite strong in that he calls it the "great unmentionable evil". Nice pic too - I like old fashioned pics like this one.



Bertrand Russell:

"And if there were a God, I think it very unlikely that he would have such an uneasy vanity as to be offended by those who doubt his existence"

I love Bertrand Russell - I don't know much about the guy but his accent is excellent and he seems quite witty and a little eccentric - good qualities which make for an interesting character. He was asked once what he would say if he died and came face to face with the Christian God and replied "Sir, you didn't give me enough evidence..." - gotta give the guy credit if he says that - or not if God's reading this....lol 



Christopher Hitchens:

"Religion comes from the period of human prehistory where nobody—not even the mighty Democritus who concluded that all matter was made from atoms—had the smallest idea what was going on. It comes from the bawling and fearful infancy of our species, and is a babyish attempt to meet our inescapable demand for knowledge (as well as for comfort, reassurance, and other infantile needs). Today the least educated of my children knows much more about the natural order than any of the founders of religion"



Hitchens was a great debater and you can see some of them on Youtube. He interestingly described himself as an anti-theist (that is - someone who dislikes a theist-type God, not just lacking belief in him) - in his mind religion represented the ulitmate totalitarianism and surrender of the mind. This guy was entertaining and a real character.

In Summary...

In my mind I just can't accept that a God would make people gay and then punish them for it. Any gay guy who has struggled with his sexuality knows that it is not a choice who you fancy and are attracted to - it is simply just attraction. So I'm not convinced that God would punish gays for it. I grew up somewhat religious like most people in England but not overtly so, and part of me still clings to it as childhood indoctrination is very powerful, and part of me wouldn't hate the idea that there is more to life than this world, but unfortunately there is no evidence for anything beyond this life - I guess folks we will just have to wait and see...any feedback or thoughts welcome though!

Was that 5 minutes? Let's say yes!

Thanks People!

GayLadForLife

;-)

Letter to a Homophobe

Hey Homophobe

I'm gay. I know you don't "approve" and think that what I am is wrong but I just wanted to let you know a little bit about me before you judged me further.

Firstly I didn't choose to be gay, contrary to what you may think. Infact I hated being gay for 10 years, so much so that I told no one, never discussed it, and never acted on it. I wasn't proud of what I was feeling and even prayed to be straight. I never wanted to fancy guys. It was not a choice. If sexuality is a choice then when did you choose to be straight? I know you're tempted to argue that "I never chose to be straight because its natural" - and that is exactly the point I'm making to you, I am naturally gay just as you are naturally straight. Homosexuality is found in nature too, just look it up. I am not something alien and I am not abnormal.

I think it was about age 12 that I realised I was gay. As so many gay guys articulate, I knew I was "different" and didn't like girls the way my friends did. I ofcourse wanted to be like everyone else and so internalised my thoughts and wished them away. Growing up whilst hiding a big part of you is quite hard. Whenever a friend asked if I fancied anyone, I lied. Whenever a group of mates were talking about girls, I immediately felt awkward. Whenever people made anti-gay comments, I felt like absolute crap. Whenever I saw a friend kiss his girlfriend, I knew I couldn't do that. Whenever I fancied a guy, I simply avoided him. I basically didn't do half the things I wanted to do because I hated who I was and what society thought of me. Growing up in the closet is incredibly lonely and isolating.

I'm almost in my mid 20s now and have never gone on a real date with someone I fancied. An embarassing fact that I doubt I will ever reveal to anyone. That experience which you took for granted when you were 15 or whatever I have never experienced. Consequently, I've not been in a relationship either - another experience I have never had. All of this because society still has prejudices against us gays and I feared people like you, as well as my family, would reject me and view me differently.

Do you have any idea how nervous I was on my first gay evening out? Firstly I was alone, as I don't have any gay mates. I actually got drunk in a straight pub before I even went to the gay one. I remember nervously sweating at the gay pub and needing to go to the toilet to chill out for a bit. I drunkenly looked in the mirror and told myself to pull it together, you were brave enough to come here alone and you're brave enough to stay. Funnily enough I had a good night that night, people came up to me ASSUMING I was gay - and they didn't care because they were gay too. I think once I left that pub things wouldn't be the same, I knew I could never get married and have kids the way I had wanted and my parents no doubt still want. 

Imagine for a minute that things were reversed - ie that the vast majority of people in the world are gay and there is a minority who are straight. Society expects you to be gay and the social system is structured around this. Even though straight people have been afforded a few rights lately, some parts of Western society still view you with suspicion and think that you partake in sexual deviancy with the opposite sex and you aren't safe to have around children. In some countries, particlarly African ones, there is still the death penalty for your heterosexuality. When some straights come out they are disowned by their families, just because they fancy someone of the opposite sex. If you do find someone you love, then too bad you can't get married because marriage is defined as "a man and a man" or "a woman and a woman". Homosexuality has been the dominant tradition of our culture and you're hetersexuality makes you a minority. Prominent religions teach God hates you and you are sinners who deserve to be burned forever. Even if you did get together with a partner, be very aware of who is around you when showing affection and be ready to defend yourself when people make a scene after you dare to kiss your girlfriend in public - you should at least have the decency to do that horrible stuff behind closed doors so us normal gays don't have to see it after all...

Can you please take 1 minute to really imagine that - not nice eh? Well that's what life is REALLY like for us...Would you stay in the closet and marry a gay? Or follow your heart and find a nice girlfriend (or boyfriend)?

Well homophobe, I'm all grown up now. You and your enablers have had a huge impact on my life and how I have felt about myself. In the past I've felt worthless, embarassed and depressed. But now I'm growing stronger. I realise that your hatred is bred out of ignorance and that's not meant as an insult. If you were to truly understand what I've been through and how hard it has been for me, I doubt you would hate me. As I reflect on who I've been, and who I want to be, there is still some way to go. But I think I can only move forward now. You've held me back for many many years, but not anymore. I've actually grown quite resilient from all of this, and sometimes feel like I can take on the world. However some days are still tough and I hope I can keep going as I know I have yet to face the biggest obstacles in this struggle.
I hope all of this has helped to inform you a little of what its like to grow up gay and be closeted in today's world. So next time you see something gay and feel the need to say something negative, just don't. Life is hard enough for each of us without us getting in each other's way.

I hope you don't hate me anymore, and that you find it in yourself not to judge others for things which are outside of their control.

We just want a chance to be happy like you.

Thanks

GayLadForLife

Is The Gay Scene Superficial?

Hey guys n gals!

I thought I would write a little about how I pereceive the gay scene in London/Brighton and whether it really is as superficial as it seems.

Parts of the gay scene are definitely extremely superficial - and these are the parts that the gay world is known for as it is the most full on and in your face. Many bars are decorated with pictures of hunky shirtless guys looking at you with one eyebrow raised and have muscle dudes beehind the bar waiting to take your order - it all looks very nice and makes everyone a lil horny no doubt. But I wonder what the cost of this is - I remember reading a study done on the mental health of gay men and how some tend to have more anxiety/body dysmorphic disorders - I think this may result from the pressure to look like all the gay guys we see in magazines - regular guys with a bit of a belly and who are balding a bit can still be sexy I think - I find it is more about a guy's attitude quite often than just what they look like - I would much rather spend time with a funny and/or interesting guy than a hot muscle dude who has nothing to say and is checking everyone out all the time.

I've also found it weird how the gay community treats porn stars. Straight porn stars don't go to a big straight nightclub and try and DJ whilst signing stuff for "fans", but gay ones seem to all the time! They are basically worshipped for what they look like and what they can do with their dicks.

When I heard about Erik Rhodes - the gay pornstar who died of heart failure after using drink and drugs to dangerous levels - it made me really sad. Apparently he had had a blog on tumblr or something and it was called "my relationship with misery", this man who had everything most gay guys want - good looks, a big member and lots of money - still longed for something more in his life. I wonder how many times he thought about all of this stuff to himself and how he so wanted to be happy - probably too many for most to handle - he seemed like a really nice guy.

When I first went out on the scene by myself it was quite full on. There were transvestities walking around entertaining people and very flamboyant characters were everywhere. It seemed the gay-ness was very in your face and non-stop - I guess that's to be expected in some of these places looking back - I know now the huge variety there is on the gay scene but back then those first few bars I went to were all about the superficial. Indeed, seeing the poles on the dancefloor in one club made me laugh, I thought oh god these guys don't hold back do they! Also, something else I learned very quickly - it is way more fun if you go out with friends - although this is hard for someone closeted like me - it really can make the difference on a night out and the time I have been in a group are the times when I've met more people and been more relaxed.

Leaving bars to one side, I have also been to some really nice and relaxed gay pubs, which I guess are technically part of the scene still but you tend to find older guys there and not loads of young camp guys - I think after my brief time on the scene I'm starting to gravitate more towards pubs than clubs and bars - I like being able to talk to a guy and thumping music can make that very hard at times! That's not to say I won't be going to bars and clubs in the future - I do like to dance and they can be really fun - but I think that when I'm in my 30s you will have better luck seeing me playing darts in a pub then downing shots off a bar.

The attitude some gays have at these places is horrible - when they pick people apart for not looking a certain way, whenever I have been with someone who starts mocking a chubby guy in the room, or whispering about "the ugly guy over there" I'm immediately turned off by them - growing up I knew some people that struggled with how they look and taking the mick out of someone for something they can't control is so sad - I think I'm an average looking guy and get enough attention to be happy but just don't get why some guys feel the need to do that. Luckily enough, I think I can suss these guys out quite quick and so tend not to involve myself with them - life is too short.

So, do I think the gay scene is superficial? Yes, definitely! But that's not all it is. It's true that having half naked handsome guys everywhere gets us interested because it appeals to our animal instincts of attraction and lust, but behind every muscled up shirtless guy in a club is someone just like you and me - who no doubt has all the insecurities of everyone else and is fearful of the things we all fear - growing old alone, not finding true love, and not being accepted.

I know that was a bit of a random and disjointed piece (I am improving slowly! trust me!), but what do you think?

GayLadForLife