Monday 18 November 2013

Gay Lad For Life is BACK

Hey Guys

Its been aaages since my last post. In some respects, a lot has changed, and in others...nothing has changed lol. I don't even know where to start really, I last posted in May I think....and now its November. A whole 6 months have passed! Where did they go?


Soho...So no (oh jeeez this blog brings the gay outta me lol)

I've not been going out in Soho much at all over the last 6 months, probably a couple times in May,June n July but I definitely haven;t been over the last few months, and to be honest, I don't miss it at all. In fact, I've been trying to become fitter and healthier...and I started by...yep you guessed it, joining a gym! Well I am gay after all, what did you expect huh? It's actually really fun, before I thought it was all work and why would I want to strain myself like that for hours on end, but the feeling you get when you leave the gym after you have worked out is great - you feel like a new man! 

Love life

Well I've not really done anything to pursue this all that much if I'm honest, in part because a lot of other things in my life are constantly changing but also due to the fact I'm scared to I guess...sad I know. Although...there is this one guy who I've met recently who is pretty cool and actually quite a nice guy...but part of me thinks 'hmmm how long will this last'...I know that's a terrible position upon which to view these things but I guess based on my previous experiences  I could be forgiven for thinking such a thing...right? He's around my age, real independent and a hard worker...and funnily enough he made the first move when we met (which suited me fine as I'm awful at approaching guys I like!)

Lately something happened to me in the gym which was unexpected too, this guy approached me and introduced himself. He had an accent but I wasn;t sure where he was from ,maybe somewhere in central or eastern europe...either way he was a real nice guy and complimented me on my smile which made me go slightly red lol. Me being me I kind of chatted to him for a little but left to go workout some more, I didn't really fancy being chatted up in the middle of the gym infront of everyone's a shame though actually as he did approach me afterwards in the changing room too but I was a dick because I don;t know how to handle these situations and I've never seen him again in that place - guess it goes to show, in those situations you should just go for it as you may never get another chance - I'm not saying I deff fancied the guy or anything but going for a drink after the gym would have been nice.
Me on a weekend morning lol


Howcome no one told me about Shoreditch? The couple of gay venues there are pretty cool! Better than Soho in my opinion, and although I've never really gone out in Vauxhall much...I like the east ldn vibe quite a lot! I like the alternative edge it has and people are less up their own arses (as the vauxhall lot can offence!) and the atmosphere is more than - in soho I always am very aware of how people are looking you up and down as soon as you walk in a place...maybe that's part paranoia but I'm sure Soho has a lot of that. Once in East LDN I was dancing when "Gypsy Woman2 came on by Sami Dee...I swear I was jumping up and down like a crazy person with the small group of guys I met that night and it was awesome, I owned that night...FACT lol

Shoreditch art

Well...that's my little update. I've got a couple of articles in mind which I shall very soon be writing and posting soon...if anyone has any suggestions or wants to know anything about gay london - let me know and I shall see what I can the mean safe and take care of yourselves guys ;-)

Thank you


Sunday 26 May 2013

Coming out advice?!?

Hey all,

I think the time has come...I'm going to come out soon...I think

Over the last couple of years I've been in the closet and we all know what that place can be like...essentially quite draining emotionally.

I've looked over the blog posts since I started this thing and there's a sense of secrecy that runs through everything and it hasn't served me well over this time really, its isolated me to a certain extent and kept me from being happy - although I've had good gay times it has led me to look for things in the wrong places in the hope that everything will just fall into place

I knew ages ago that things wouldn't change for myself until I made them change, and a part of me realised that I would have to be pushed to the edge in order to tell the people closest to me that I'm gay...well...I think it has arrived - I can't keep living this half-life and telling half-lies to people so, as Bob Dylan would say, the times they are a chaaaanging

On the gay scene I've met an array of types of people and it really is as diverse as can be...although some places do attract certain types of guys which others don't...
I don't think I'll say this when I come out to my parents lol

I do think that by the end of the Summer I will be out to family and maybe friends, or friends and maybe family - I don't know who to come out to first though?!?!? Anyone got any advice? I know that I'm the one who knows the people closest to me best and so really I'm in the best position to judge who to tell first but I don't know! Jeeez this is going to be hard...

I hope that soon I'll have a circle of gay friends to chill with and settle me after coming out

I'll keep you guys posted! It will happen soon over the coming months I'm sure

God I'm nervous even thinking about it! How could I approach the subject with family and friends sensititively?!?! Anyone got any ideas? I need to start thinking about this...I'm going to feel so guilty for lying to my friends but I guess they should understand and I don't think they will shun me...I'm more worried about family though...

Should I built up more of a gay network/support before I come out?!?! Hmmm....I don't know


Friday 24 May 2013

Gay London - Gay Men Tales

Hey all

Thought I'd give a little update as to my gay escapades in London - as usual had some good experiences, and some bad, will give you a little glimpse into how its been...all feedback appreciated

Picadilly Circus - soho, where a few nights out have started

New Bar in Soho

So I checked out a gay bar in Soho that I've never been in before, I just wanted to check it out and had nothing to do that night so trundled along by myself and got a drink at the bar - as usual nowhere to sit at the bar, so I went and found a table. Before I could sit down these guys started talking to me from the neighbouring table, both of whom were a number of years older than me but I'll happily talk to anyone so long as they're not rude...however it didn't stay that way for long... One of the guys was really rude, passive aggressive and obviously quite drunk, he was asking all these inappropriate questions and telling me all about tops and bottoms - I was like huh? I don't care what you guys are...but he didn't quite get the message. I remember thinking "oh god THIS is why I shouldn't come to these bars by myself" and promptly left...there was a drag act on that night too and that is sooooooooooooooo not my thang lol


A few weeks ago I went somewhere I swore I would never go again - HEAVEN in Charing Cross. The first time I went I was stuck there as I went with this group  of guys who said they were going to stay there all night till morn but left after a few hours and I had to wait in London for hours outside the train station to get home! Also, its not really my scene to be honest - I much more prefer pubs these days to clubs but I don't mind clubbing every now and then...providing its not Heaven! I went this time with a group of guys who were all really fun, especially this one guy who was a right genuinely really of his friends was getting arsey with me though because apparently he liked me and thought I was ignoring him...which I was a little bit as I didn't want him to think I was interested and badger me...I guess I wanted to keep him at a distance as ... well.... he seemed very needy and wanting and I'd known him for about 30 minutes... whenever he came over to me he pulled this sort of "why aren't you talking to me more" face and was asking me who I liked in the club - which is a sure fire way to tell if a guy likes you as they really want to know the types of guys you go for to see if they have a chance - but anyway to cut a long story short things turned a little sour when I didn't leave with them for their after hour festivities.....I'm just not the kinda guy who does that...especially if it might have been a group thing!

The Man

Recently, like very recently, I met one of the hottest guys I've ever met in my entire life when I was out. I mean he caught my eye and I couldn't not look at him, especially when he smiled at me. He seemed just as interested in me as I was in him which I was quite flattered by, he gave me amazing compliments which was cool and we chilled out for a while together. The thing is, I think I knew it was doomed from the start in terms of seeing him again - you know sometimes you can just tell that some guys have other stuff going on and when they're a bit vague about themselves (as I often am....huh...) but I told myself to go for it and asked for his number...funnily enough I got it aswell. However, after a few exchanged texts I got the one I suspected might come at some point, telling me about how he was still involved and now wasn't a good time for anything etc etc. I don't even know if he was out but I think he may have thought I wanted something semi-serious but I only really wanted to hang out together again really. I was disappointed as he was the type of guy I go for and had a killer smile. When you're closeted the short bursts of time you spend with someone can be really fun and interesting but they never lead to anything for one reason or another, but at least I got to kiss one of the hottest guys I've ever seen in a while and went for it in terms of asking him if he wanted to see each other again (which I don't do that often) so that's progress right?

Gay colleagues at work

At work there's about 2/3 gay people on the floor (not including me and I wonder how good their gaydar is with me? Weirdly enough I've been asked in gay bars if I'm straight so I guess I behave straight (you know what I mean) but I do think a couple of the gays around me suspect. Their senses are quite fine tuned, or I'm just a little more gay than I realise lol, but the way one guy looks at me its like he knows - I can't even explain it...maybe he's seen me at a gaybar or something I don't know but something is up...or he just wants me ;-) haha. Oh and once I saw a gay guy from work enter a gay bar that I was JUST ABOUT to go into, jeeez that would have terrified me! Now that could have been interesting.....

I've been thinking recently I've been on the gay scene for about 2 years on and off (thereabouts, give or take a few months), by no means regularly, and in fact quite sparsely, but I hope I don't bump into these guys I write about and have met again anytime soon (unless its "The Man" mentioned above or one or two others who were great guys) as it would be so cringeworthy. Its happened once or twice and its been awkwaaaaaaaaaaaard lol

I do think I will go on the gay scene even less in future, I know in the past I've said 'never again' due to some things that have happened, and tbh it really isn't my scene as I'm not 100% comfortable in it, and probably wouldn't be even if I was completely out etc, but I know I will go again at some keeps pulling me back in!

Hope it was a good read - all comments welcome!

Till next time folks