Gay Lad For Life is BACK

Hey Guys


Its been aaages since my last post. In some respects, a lot has changed, and in others...nothing has changed lol. I don't even know where to start really, I last posted in May I think....and now its November. A whole 6 months have passed! Where did they go?

 

Soho...So no (oh jeeez this blog brings the gay outta me lol)

I've not been going out in Soho much at all over the last 6 months, probably a couple times in May,June n July but I definitely haven;t been over the last few months, and to be honest, I don't miss it at all. In fact, I've been trying to become fitter and healthier...and I started by...yep you guessed it, joining a gym! Well I am gay after all, what did you expect huh? It's actually really fun, before I thought it was all work and why would I want to strain myself like that for hours on end, but the feeling you get when you leave the gym after you have worked out is great - you feel like a new man! 

Love life

Well I've not really done anything to pursue this all that much if I'm honest, in part because a lot of other things in my life are constantly changing but also due to the fact I'm scared to I guess...sad I know. Although...there is this one guy who I've met recently who is pretty cool and actually quite a nice guy...but part of me thinks 'hmmm how long will this last'...I know that's a terrible position upon which to view these things but I guess based on my previous experiences  I could be forgiven for thinking such a thing...right? He's around my age, real independent and a hard worker...and funnily enough he made the first move when we met (which suited me fine as I'm awful at approaching guys I like!)

Lately something happened to me in the gym which was unexpected too, this guy approached me and introduced himself. He had an accent but I wasn;t sure where he was from ,maybe somewhere in central or eastern europe...either way he was a real nice guy and complimented me on my smile which made me go slightly red lol. Me being me I kind of chatted to him for a little but left to go workout some more, I didn't really fancy being chatted up in the middle of the gym infront of everyone else...it's a shame though actually as he did approach me afterwards in the changing room too but I was a dick because I don;t know how to handle these situations and I've never seen him again in that place - guess it goes to show, in those situations you should just go for it as you may never get another chance - I'm not saying I deff fancied the guy or anything but going for a drink after the gym would have been nice.

Me on a weekend morning lol

Shoreditch

Howcome no one told me about Shoreditch? The couple of gay venues there are pretty cool! Better than Soho in my opinion, and although I've never really gone out in Vauxhall much...I like the east ldn vibe quite a lot! I like the alternative edge it has and people are less up their own arses (as the vauxhall lot can be...no offence!) and the atmosphere is more than - in soho I always am very aware of how people are looking you up and down as soon as you walk in a place...maybe that's part paranoia but I'm sure Soho has a lot of that. Once in East LDN I was dancing when "Gypsy Woman2 came on by Sami Dee...I swear I was jumping up and down like a crazy person with the small group of guys I met that night and it was awesome, I owned that night...FACT lol

Shoreditch art

Well...that's my little update. I've got a couple of articles in mind which I shall very soon be writing and posting soon...if anyone has any suggestions or wants to know anything about gay london - let me know and I shall see what I can do...in the mean time..be safe and take care of yourselves guys ;-)

Thank you

GayLadForLife

Coming out advice?!?

Hey all,

I think the time has come...I'm going to come out soon...I think

Over the last couple of years I've been in the closet and we all know what that place can be like...essentially quite draining emotionally.

I've looked over the blog posts since I started this thing and there's a sense of secrecy that runs through everything and it hasn't served me well over this time really, its isolated me to a certain extent and kept me from being happy - although I've had good gay times it has led me to look for things in the wrong places in the hope that everything will just fall into place

I knew ages ago that things wouldn't change for myself until I made them change, and a part of me realised that I would have to be pushed to the edge in order to tell the people closest to me that I'm gay...well...I think it has arrived - I can't keep living this half-life and telling half-lies to people so, as Bob Dylan would say, the times they are a chaaaanging

On the gay scene I've met an array of types of people and it really is as diverse as can be...although some places do attract certain types of guys which others don't...

I don't think I'll say this when I come out to my parents lol

I do think that by the end of the Summer I will be out to family and maybe friends, or friends and maybe family - I don't know who to come out to first though?!?!? Anyone got any advice? I know that I'm the one who knows the people closest to me best and so really I'm in the best position to judge who to tell first but I don't know! Jeeez this is going to be hard...

I hope that soon I'll have a circle of gay friends to chill with and settle me after coming out

I'll keep you guys posted! It will happen soon over the coming months I'm sure

God I'm nervous even thinking about it! How could I approach the subject with family and friends sensititively?!?! Anyone got any ideas? I need to start thinking about this...I'm going to feel so guilty for lying to my friends but I guess they should understand and I don't think they will shun me...I'm more worried about family though...

Should I built up more of a gay network/support before I come out?!?! Hmmm....I don't know

GayLadForLife

Gay London - Gay Men Tales

Hey all

Thought I'd give a little update as to my gay escapades in London - as usual had some good experiences, and some bad, will give you a little glimpse into how its been...all feedback appreciated

Picadilly Circus - soho, where a few nights out have started

New Bar in Soho

So I checked out a gay bar in Soho that I've never been in before, I just wanted to check it out and had nothing to do that night so trundled along by myself and got a drink at the bar - as usual nowhere to sit at the bar, so I went and found a table. Before I could sit down these guys started talking to me from the neighbouring table, both of whom were a number of years older than me but I'll happily talk to anyone so long as they're not rude...however it didn't stay that way for long... One of the guys was really rude, passive aggressive and obviously quite drunk, he was asking all these inappropriate questions and telling me all about tops and bottoms - I was like huh? I don't care what you guys are...but he didn't quite get the message. I remember thinking "oh god THIS is why I shouldn't come to these bars by myself" and promptly left...there was a drag act on that night too and that is sooooooooooooooo not my thang lol

HEAVEN

A few weeks ago I went somewhere I swore I would never go again - HEAVEN in Charing Cross. The first time I went I was stuck there as I went with this group  of guys who said they were going to stay there all night till morn but left after a few hours and I had to wait in London for hours outside the train station to get home! Also, its not really my scene to be honest - I much more prefer pubs these days to clubs but I don't mind clubbing every now and then...providing its not Heaven! I went this time with a group of guys who were all really fun, especially this one guy who was a right laugh...like genuinely really funny...one of his friends was getting arsey with me though because apparently he liked me and thought I was ignoring him...which I was a little bit as I didn't want him to think I was interested and badger me...I guess I wanted to keep him at a distance as ... well.... he seemed very needy and wanting and I'd known him for about 30 minutes... whenever he came over to me he pulled this sort of "why aren't you talking to me more" face and was asking me who I liked in the club - which is a sure fire way to tell if a guy likes you as they really want to know the types of guys you go for to see if they have a chance - but anyway to cut a long story short things turned a little sour when I didn't leave with them for their after hour festivities.....I'm just not the kinda guy who does that...especially if it might have been a group thing!


The Man

Recently, like very recently, I met one of the hottest guys I've ever met in my entire life when I was out. I mean he caught my eye and I couldn't not look at him, especially when he smiled at me. He seemed just as interested in me as I was in him which I was quite flattered by, he gave me amazing compliments which was cool and we chilled out for a while together. The thing is, I think I knew it was doomed from the start in terms of seeing him again - you know sometimes you can just tell that some guys have other stuff going on and when they're a bit vague about themselves (as I often am....huh...) but I told myself to go for it and asked for his number...funnily enough I got it aswell. However, after a few exchanged texts I got the one I suspected might come at some point, telling me about how he was still involved and now wasn't a good time for anything etc etc. I don't even know if he was out but I think he may have thought I wanted something semi-serious but I only really wanted to hang out together again really. I was disappointed as he was the type of guy I go for and had a killer smile. When you're closeted the short bursts of time you spend with someone can be really fun and interesting but they never lead to anything for one reason or another, but at least I got to kiss one of the hottest guys I've ever seen in a while and went for it in terms of asking him if he wanted to see each other again (which I don't do that often) so that's progress right?

Gay colleagues at work

At work there's about 2/3 gay people on the floor (not including me ofcourse...lol) and I wonder how good their gaydar is with me? Weirdly enough I've been asked in gay bars if I'm straight so I guess I behave straight (you know what I mean) but I do think a couple of the gays around me suspect. Their senses are quite fine tuned, or I'm just a little more gay than I realise lol, but the way one guy looks at me its like he knows - I can't even explain it...maybe he's seen me at a gaybar or something I don't know but something is up...or he just wants me ;-) haha. Oh and once I saw a gay guy from work enter a gay bar that I was JUST ABOUT to go into, jeeez that would have terrified me! Now that could have been interesting.....

I've been thinking recently I've been on the gay scene for about 2 years on and off (thereabouts, give or take a few months), by no means regularly, and in fact quite sparsely, but I hope I don't bump into these guys I write about and have met again anytime soon (unless its "The Man" mentioned above or one or two others who were great guys) as it would be so cringeworthy. Its happened once or twice and its been awkwaaaaaaaaaaaard lol

I do think I will go on the gay scene even less in future, I know in the past I've said 'never again' due to some things that have happened, and tbh it really isn't my scene as I'm not 100% comfortable in it, and probably wouldn't be even if I was completely out etc, but I know I will go again at some point...it keeps pulling me back in!

Hope it was a good read - all comments welcome!

Till next time folks

GayLadForLife

Gay Love, Gay Love & More Gay Love

I actually got quite emotional looking some of these pics when I was browsing the net and looking for cool photos of happy gay guys, feels like I'm such a long way from anything like being this happy... - nice photos though, and yeh I know some are corny but you know....

gay love

gay love

gay love

gay love

gay love

gay love

gay love

gay love

gay love

gay love

gay love

Royal Cowardice - Is The Queen Spineless?

Hey all,

I read a headline recently about the Queen supporting gay rights - so I clicked on it and read the article, turns out she doesn't really support gay rights at all. Let me outline my case and you tell me what you think...

FYI - This is the link I read that made me want to write a post on it:


http://gma.yahoo.com/queen-elizabeth-fights-discrimination-114804600--abc-news-topstories.html

 The ABC article I linked to above says:

The Commonwealth Charter states opposition to "all forms of discrimination, whether rooted in gender, race, color, creed, political belief or other grounds." 

"The queen has to remain politically neutral," Arbiter said. "While we won't hear her personal views on this, the fact that she is endorsing it publically in front of television cameras, it really does speak volumes." 

Oh the Queen has to remain politically neutral? Hmmm, and that's the reason she can't reference gay rights more directly? Well in that case why is the gender reference in the charter? If the queen believed in equality of the sexes then that's her personal opinion but she doesn't need to declare it to the world as that is a political opinion...right? Complete nonsense...

Let me tell you the real reason there's no 'sexual orientation' protective wording in the clause...because a lot of the Commonwealth is comprised of homophobic countries who do nothing to protect minorities and, in some instances, violently promote their further marginalisation and persecution. The fact that the Queen, who is the head of the Commonwealth, panders to this view instead of leading the Commonwealth to equality and human RIGHTS for all is COWARDLY. Oh and don't give me the whole 'she's the figurehead so ofcourse she doesn't draft the wording' argument - she's the freaking Queen and if she wanted to change it and take a more proactive approach to her PR and what the Commonwealth stands for she could - she just doesn't want to because hey its only the gays right? who cares about that minority? Well apparently not her by the look of things..She probably knows that if she did explicitly support gays some countries may leave the Commonwealth or fail to recognise her some other way...so she keeps silent on the matter to appease the human right abusers and keep her country member numbers up...classy Liz...

I know many in the press are foaming at the mouth about how "excited" we all should be by this royal approval by silence...but to me its pathetic. Either she stands for something or she stands for nothing. I know the royal family don't do anything political these days because...well...they don't do much at all really apart from try and stay relevant (although I don't mind the younger royals - but I really hope they do better than the current crown wearer.  

We really do deserve better than this Queen - she has such an opportunity being the head of the Commonwealth to try and spread a worthwhile message and make meaningful change to the lives of so many gays who are struggling RIGHT NOW in these homophobic countries and she does nothing...our Queen is a coward and is apparently quite content with it - shame on her and shame on us for letting her get away with it.

Is The Queen Spineless? My answer is yes unfortunately - I don't want to sound harsh but I am bitterly disappointed by her actions and feel that she lets down LGBT persons across 1/3 of the globe by saying nothing and not standing explicity for gay rights

GayLadForLife

Also the Guardian done a good critique of the Queen's lack of action too - http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/mar/11/queen-gay-rights-commonwealth

Meeting Other Guys Who Are In The Closet

Hey everyone

It's been aaages since I've posted but I've got some time now so let's get another one off the press! I'm going to try and do the blog more frequently now as I do love writing and find it quite therapeutic - also I like the feedback and people's comments on what I write, it can be interesting to share.

So I've met a few other closeted guys when out and about, some are very blatant and upfront about their situation, others are more suspect...here are a few of my experiences and thoughts:

Closet!

Married Guy

Once I met a guy in a bar and after he got me a drink he started talking about how he was down here for work for a bit and away from his wife - I knew that him owning up to it straight away pretty much meant he was looking for some fun, but I didn't want to waste his time so I guzzled the drink and got out of there! But funnily enough that's happened a couple times - I don't know why they would be so upfront about it after meeting me for 10 seconds, I guess its because they probably wont be around gay bars again anytime soon and want action (which no doubt they have starved themselves of for aaages) ASAP. He seemed like an average nice guy and I remeber thinking he looked a little nervous which was actually a bit cute, lol, mind you he was a little bit over my age range but I seem to attract all sorts and like variety so I won;t complain about getting the interest...although it was a slow night that night in the bar and he might have hit on anything with a pulse so I won't read too much into it just yet...


Six pack in the closet

I remember a time when  I met a guy who was closeted and we "hung out" for a little bit, I took his number and text him the next day but I never heard anything back - he was an awesome and really hot guy with a crazy fit body, but I realised he would never see me again as, looking back on it, I could tell he wouldn't want to allow someone to get that close to him who is a guy - It's a real shame as I suspect he wants to but can't because of where he is from and his situation (which, again, he spoke of quite candidly) - but instead of me realising he just wanted a brief thing I was taken in by the compliments and charm and niaively thought we might see each other again...silly me I guess. He was a little shorter than me, had some stubble and was Mediterranean I think - I hate it when guys want your number and then don't text you back! It was this meet which has made me a lot more careful about who I give it to.

Ye Olde Charmer

Another time was when I first hit this spot in London - this was during the very early days on me going to bars and think I'd only been to one or two before this occasion - but anyway I was there on my own and sat down with my drink next to some other guys. I think, if I remember correctly, that I saw a magazine open on the table and started to read it. One of the guys asked something about the magazine and we got talking. Turns out he lived abroad (not far at all though...) but worked even further away on another continent (I'm being so vague here but ya never know who's reading!!!). Anyhow, turns out he thought I was a rentboy, lol. I said I wasn't and he asked what I was doing in there by myself chatting to him then! I laughed and we just chatted a bit more. He said he was popping out to get some more cash (I guess because he didn't want to use his card in a gay venue) and I was comfy enough there and couldn;t be bothered to go anywhere else. He soon returned and asked about the rentboy thing again - I said no and I think he was testing the water to see if I would be interested but I would obviously never be - he soon realised and we just talked some more before I left - he said before I went that he didnt mean to offend and it was just that he's stopping over in london for a bit and wanted some action whilst he was here - he also fessed up to being married and my guess was that he had a couple kids aswell. Really nice guy and hope wherever he is he's doing OK.

gay love

The closet is not an easy place for anyone to be, and I don't think I'll be in it too much longer. I remember talking to one guy my age a year or two ago who said he would never date a closeted guy - he would have to come out or the guy wouldn't date him - when I first heard this I thought that was really harsh and thought the guy lacked empathy and understanding, but I think I've since realised that I might not date a closet case either once I'm out - because if I've taken the gamble and come out and have started to finally enjoy my life to the full, why would I want to start hiding part of it again - although I guess it would depend on the guy...

Nothing is ever black and white is it?!?!?!?!

Maybe one day things will be simple...but mind you simple is boooring ;-)

GayLadForLife

Why Do Gay Guys In Couples Always Look The Same?

It's something I've come across a lot in my time on the gay scene. I see a gay couple and they look identical! Whether it be two balding bears with matching facial hair, or two glammed up camp guys with eyebrows tweezed to perfection and quiffs that mirror each other.

Its something that perplexes me. Ofcourse, I have no problem with it but I find it weird how increasingly this seems to be the case and seems to be the norm. Do they purposefully hunt for guys that look like them? Is it because they want to date a version of themselves? If so, LOL. That would be a funny reason, although I doubt they would admit it, or are even aware that is the real reason, if in fact it is.




gay couple



I myself don't really have a type, and so if a guy looked similar to me I doubt I'd care that much, but just being out and about, surely the chances are that someone who doesn't look like your long lost tiwn would take your fancy? I just don't get why I see so many gay couples that are identical. I like variety - it is the spice of life after all - so why limit your remit to guys that have the same hair style/face/ethnicity/body as yourself?

I guess gay couples are bound to look more similar to each other than heterosexual ones as they are of the same gender, so you wouldn't get a straight couple both balding with matching facial hair or with long blonde locks and pretty smiles, but it seems to be beyond the incidental I think.



gay couple





My advice? Try people that aren't like you, opposites attract after all. But hey if you want to date the mirror image of yourself that's cool too, was just asking the question.

Why do YOU think gay guys in couples always (or increasingly) look the same?