This is something I've increasingly noticed over the years - being all too aware of what I don't speak of with my straight mates
Whenever the topic of girls and relationships comes up, I instantly get a little nervous and go a little quiet - obviously not being out I can't chat about what guy I think is fit or if I've been on the gay scene in the last month - I wonder what they think as I've never really shown much interest in girls - if one of them sat down and thought about it for a while I'm sure they could put the pieces together.
Some of them were talking recently about how long they have been in relationships for, I havn't even been in one! Not even been on a real date either actually with a guy (or a girl ofcourse), informal drink or two with random gays but nothing I would particularly got ready for - I hope that I will be able to date more soon as I think I'd really enjoy it, just got to get out there more and try and talk to guys in gay bars when I'm not drunk - bit sad that I usually have to have a drink somewhere before I go to a gaybar but that's the way it is I guess - at least for now
I have as many girls as close mates as I do guys - my straight mates that it - I have no gay mates but hopefully that will change too as I move to a more urban area soon - going into gay bars by yourself is quite daunting - especially when you're not out, part of me suspects that people can tell I'm not out by quietly drinkin by myself in the corner but thats probably just a bit of paranoia
Some nights when I've discreetly gone out on the gay scene in LDN have been great, met some random people and had fun nights out with them, but some have been awful where I've gotten drunk, been alone and had to get public transport home - an expensive waste of money and a real downer
I don''t go to normal bars or clubs with my straight mates - we're a bunch of old timers really, just pubs and maybe cinema etc every now n then - but really I want to go to electro house clubs and party till the early hours, and to be fair I have a few times by myself, but I'm worried I'm wasting my youth by being too scared to come out and to the things I want to do - just doing them here and there isn't enough anymore
Hmmm, I'm thinking I need to do that again soon actually, been too long, must be months since I last gay clubbed...
Take care readers (if any lol)
GayLadForLife
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