Hey guys,
So I'm based in London now and the whole change has left me feeling a mixture of emotions really. The new job which I have started is going OK and am starting to settle in - the people seem nice enough which is cool and so I will see how that goes. In terms of me settling into a new location its a bit more complicated. I'm happy I'm in a new place and am meeting new people through work - however in terms of socialising with them there is no one who is around my age really and I only know a couple of my old friends in London so am left by myself sometimes - hopefully this won't last too long though.
So here I am after work, having just eaten a take-away meal and its around 6pm - and I think what do I do now? I'll write a blog entry! I feel like I want to go boyfriend hunting but I just know it doesn't work like that and I doubt I will find anyone if I go looking - I'll jynx myself no doubt lol - although you never know unless you try I'm just sick of doing it by myself and so don't want to do it anymore
Funnily enough a girl smiled at me on the Undergound the other day - she was really cute and at first I was quite surprised - I think this has only happened to me a few times ever just randomly on public transport without even talking and she appeared quite nice - but me being me I didn't say anything - I kind of wanted to chat her up though but was too annoyed from something that had just happened involving having to wait for over an hour to do something that should have happened before - but anyway the fact that I thought I fancied her a little was weird - I know that I'm predominantly gay but I do think every now and then a girl is quite fit and I could date her a little - so I guess I'm technically bi? I don't know really but I do know that I should have asked for her number...DAMMIT! Lesson learned I guess and if it happens again I'm going to be all over her (or him....)
I've taken some nice strolls around central london too which have been great - London at night is gorgeous - especially with the multicoloured lighting that is all around the streets - thjat combined with the great mix of architecture can make for some stunning urban landscape imagery
I've been out on the gay scene a little (which I said previously I wouldn't do alone as it doesn't leave me feeling that great) and have chatted to a couple guys but nothing has really come from it and I'm left feeling a bit frustrated - but I know that it takes time to settle anywhere and I can't just move somewhere and expect to meet people everyday and all of a sudden have an excellent social life, enjoyable job and great friends etc. I still don't think the gay scene is for me really, I've tried and occasioanlly its OK but currently its just not my bag and I can't see myself on it a lot - just here and there. I'm not sure how I can meet other gays if I do this - social clubs etc come to mind but I don't think I would go to them to be honest as it would more or less involve me coming out.
I've met with a few friends since being here which is nice and meeting a couple more who, although they don't live here, are going to visit me - I'm lucky in that I have a few really great mates who I can call and just do some catchups with...I still feel like something is missing though - and it's being in a relationship - I guess its because I havn't been in a proper one with a guy and I have this rose tinted view of how wonderful it would be. Also, when you don't have something you can start to think about it to much and it can become a bigger thing than it really is. I've been thinking of signing up to some meditation classes or something, if my friends knew that they would totally lol but I think it could be relaxing and a cool way to meet new and interesting people. I've been feeling quite contemplative and a bit more spiritual lately so why not eh?
Hopefully God (or whatever is out there) will send some good luck my way - I need it and I'm owed it! lol
Well, if you got to the end of that post congrats and thanks!
Until next time fellow reader,
GayLadForLife :-)
